The mouse running around in my room's increasingly pissing me off. Those 'humane' traps my roommate use are useless. I'm seriously considering getting something lethal and putting it in my room.

Look, I know those mice didn't really ask for it, they're just trying to live and all, but they're really causing problems in this house.

EDIT: Well, now that I've been informed that there's no real danger from lightning in urban zones, I'm going to just go ahead, thunderstorms or no. Whee!

I'm okay. The pony apocalypse wasn't as fearsome as some people feared. It's fun having my own colorful mane for the moment.

In the meantime, here're some news:

This trip has been longer than I expected. My parents keep hinting for me to stay longer. But I have things to do at home, so I'm going to go tonight. Today, I'm working on packing so I'm actually ready by the appointed time (and so I don't end up sticking myself with stress over rushing to get everything done in a short time).

My Livejournal paid account's running out, and I decided a while back not to renew. The main effect this'll have on me is that I go back to having only three icons to use. So, which of my icons do you like best? Any icons you'd strongly recommend for me?

Regarding Sky's Crack: I got stuck, but I will post the next installment this week. I got some useful tips from majorkerina on how to handle my characters.

I still like you all. Very, very much so. You're cool people.

Anything you'd like me to post about? By which I mean "blah blah what haven't I been talking about that you'd like to hear about blah blah". That meme. I never liked the copy-and-paste text that goes with those memes. However, it seems like a good way to prompt posting about topics people're interested in. Anyway, ask up!

Incidentally, I never really said this, but last December's trip went fairly well. Some transportation mishaps, but I made it safely on all of the legs of the trip. My family treated me nicely (though again the gender topic was never discussed), and I had an absolutely wonderful time with Janna after that. Christmas was interesting. Very busy doing family Christmas things. Vague, I know, but I took way too long to write this.

Been trying to get therapy, but I'm not getting replies to my emails to the GBLT center that offers those services, so I'll have to call again until I can actually manage to reach the person who can set up my first appointment.

Now thinking seriously of moving (once I get my act together). Right now, I have two options, who to live with. Two of my lovers look to be in a position to offer such space.

Nathan. Situation looks stable if he can get HUD (government housing bureau) approval for a new roommate. Both of us're on disability payments, so that's a pretty steady if miniscule thing. >.> West coast, which's far from my family and those of my family in Boston, but which sounds like a potentially exciting adventure (I'm being honest and giving my pure emotional reaction here). Besides, I do have West Coast friends. Also, the climate's really nice. I don't like the cold, and there's not that much there. Orange County, California.

Janna. Situation isn't financially stable right now, but hopefully will improve after her graduation next month, which is one thing I'm waiting for (to see how that turns out). Vermont right now, but she's said she wanted to move if she got the opportunity (and whatever job she gets might involve moving). Probably the Northeast, which would overall be closer and to family and a bunch of people I know (though, again, I do know some West Coast folks). Climate's kinda urgh for me, but perfectly manageable (I grew up with this kind of climate after all so I'm used to it). I had a great time when I visited, and I could easily see myself living with her (I got so comfortable that I was sorry to leave).

I haven't visited Nathan, (though he's visited me) so maybe I should give that a try. Money's an issue, though. I can work something out, though, I believe--if I save up for a few months, it's most likely doable. Cutting expenses and all that.

As for why... bossgoji's moving out anyway, leaving me with glashund as a roommate. He's great. But it's less reason for me to stay especially with the chances to move in with people I'm in an actual relationship with dangling in front of me--and as well either a lot more sun and warmth or closer distance to my family and friends. And both Nathan and Janna've gotten me out of my shell more than most other people. On the other hand, both glashund and I seem to have natural hermit tendencies.

Edit: Comments disabled due to spammers targeting this entry.

Was feeling less sick, so had a great date with my visitor, Nathan. Japanese food, a bookstore, and a walk back. But I need to realize even if I'm improving, I still need rest. I just annoyed one of my friends by rambling incoherently at them due to being both sick and tired. So I'm just going to bed. You all won't be seeing much of me until I'm completely better.

EDIT: this friend explicitly expressed their annoyance, so if you're wondering if it's you, it isn't you. Just clearing that up after another friend asked me if I thought I had annoyed him.

Nathan (System) is here. I'm too sick to do much though. I showed him Okami and watched him play it and him, bossgoji, and I watched Cowboy Bebop. And that was it.

So, I'm here! Was quite an interesting trip, took longer than I expected.

First off, I ended up late for the buses I was going to take, but I just decided, "The hell with it," and rather than go home, I just relaxed around on some grass, got some things to eat and some stuff for the trip, daydreamed a bit, got sprayed by automatic sprinklers and made a rapid exit to the oppoosite side of the road, daydreamed a bit more, and then got up and went. I suspect if I'd done that in the first place instead of stressing out about missing the exact buses I was going to take, I would've been already here a few days ago.

I then got updated times from the staff members, exact gate numbers, and made my way on the extremely long trip. I didn't know how long it would actually turn out to be. See, there was the usual periods of long-ass sitting on my butt (which always makes said butt hurt, heh). I liked riding in the daylight as it mainly meant that I could read Perdido Street Station and such on the way. The reading of said book is proceeding slowly, more slowly than the first time I think, mainly because I'm luxurizing more in the details. It's a very detail-rich book, and even as I read it, I feel like I'm learning some things about writing details, something I tend to have trouble with.

So. I get to Hartford largely without incident, and it's all closed at. I don't have tickets to Boston bought because I was planning to buy them there. But things turned out okay! I did more reading, putzed around on my mobile phone (I finally got the IMing and some other networky things to work again!), and did my best to sleep on an extremely hard bench (I nominate it for the World's Hardest Bench contest. It might not win, but it certainly will put up a good fight!). Six hours of that before the ticket office opened at 6 am, a ticket purchase, then two more hours. Got to recharge my cell phone in a back hallway and no one seemed to care about my doing it.

Then I got to Boston! Catie and I both promptly collapsed into bed after picking me up--me from an exhausting trip and her from a little bit of food poisoning. Now we've had a nice rest and are ready to go on with our day!

Foods eaten on this trip: dried fruits, some junk food, two chicken sandwiches, a hot dog, mixed nuts, saluteed veggies and red potates and garlic bread, frozen fruit treats. I ate a lot more than I expected, especially meat mainly because I hadn't treated myself to it in a long time. o.o

Anyway, that's it. I'm here, I'm okay, and it wasn't in any way a traumatic experience. :)

Long story short: I'm not leaving tonight. Tomorrow instead, hopefully early.

This mainly just means I will arrive at my parents' a little later than expected. It won't affect my visit to Boston.

After all the doubts expressed in my previous post, I've decided to attend regardless. I probably won't be making it on Friday due to the expected delivery date of a replacement laptop (remember this and this posts, yes I'm finally getting a solution for that). However, I'll show up on Saturday and Sunday.

I think I will try to turn a negative into a positive, and get some kind of "conbook" that I can use both to capture conversations and random sketches by others and whatever the hell. I still have one of the notepads I used from last year, actually, preserved for posterity. Ideas for the book?

I appreciate the suggestion of electronic devices, but they probably won't serve my needs as being more convenient than plain paper-and-pencil (the DS would probably be somewhat less so, actually). As for ASL interpreter of some sort, it's very short notice to acquire one, though if I do end up in an circumstance to attend next year (which's very up in the air, I might end up moving out of town, and at this point I'm still poor which puts a dampener on things), I'll see if I can plan ahead enough to get one.

But, really, I think I'll try to make it a point to be less shy about opening communications with other. Otherwise, I'm going to be doing a lot of sitting around while other people talk around me, like last year.

This is happening pretty much right in the town I'm living in. One would expect that I would naturally attend.

I'm not certain I will.

Last year, I had fun, but I also had a lot of time with nothing much to do. Because of my deafness, talking to others was a slow, laborious process for writing everything down on paper, and many didn't bother so much in any more than a brief manner (though I truly do appreciate those who made extra effort to communicate with me more extensively than the others, circuit_four really stood out in this regard and I apologize to any others I might have forgotten).

The only convention features that appeal to me, or are doable, are the art stuff. Artist's Alley, that gallery thing they had, and seeing all the costumes walking around. And, also, meeting people, but... all it really accomplishes in the most part is to put faces to the online text communication. Events and panels are right out of the question.

The food runs I went on, I ended up eating, and then sitting while people chattered around me in conversations invisible, intangible to me. It was getting to the point where I was idly scribbling weird symbols in my notepads just to occupy myself.

In light of all this... Hmm. Your thoughts? Suggestions?

Many thanks to everyone. You who read this, for giving me so many interesting things to read. My hosts, for being gracious hosts. Riikka, for giving me company throughout my sickness.

Anyway, I'm over the worst of the hump and getting better. I do now have diaherra, but overall things aren't so bad. Hopefully I'll be back to full shape by tomorrow!

Okay, really sick right now. Was in quite a state of delirium last night (to the point where Riikka said I sounded like I was in pain).
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I'm at my parents' house. I won't be online much for this whole vacation, I think. (This is serving as notice of game-missing for the people who both run those games and read this journal.)

My sister has a break in March, which makes it a good time to visit. So, my current plans that I'd be looking at:

March 9th evening - leave Pittsburgh
March 10th morning/noon - arrive Hartford
March 10th-13th - stay at parents
March 13th - travel to Boston
March 13th-20th - stay at ???
March 20th - travel back to Pittsburgh

Now, the questions are, where could I stay while in Boston? And I have a lot of people who want to meet me, so I'll most likely be busy. So give an idea of when you want to meet me during the trip. Basically, this is my trip planning post, so comment on my plans.

Factors to consider:
In case you didn't know or had forgot, I'm deaf. I can only communicate with paper and pen unless you know sign language.
Also, I eat a vegan diet. No known allergies except to milk which I don't drink anyway.
I've never done something like this before (visit with bunch of friends rather than just a stay at family's). So, anything I should know? Tips, manners, etc.?

I'm thinking of catching up a bus to Hartford, CT to visit my parents (and sister and grandmother) for Easter and then afterward continuing on upwards to Boston to visit some friends. Especially circuit_four, postrodent, shatterstripes, porcelaingirl, if you good folks happen to be free then. ^.^

What dates might be good visiting days? Anyone else living in Boston who'd like to meet me?

I think I've got the cold that was going around my roommates.

So I missed first a train and then a bus to visit my parents for Christmas. It probably doesn't help that I've been feeling travelled out, but this has been just the latest in a recurring series of extreme problems with organizing anything at all.

I'm going to see a doctor. About ADD medication. I've received (unhelpful) treatment for depression, but never for ADD, even though I told them about the ADD issues. I mean, this one doctor put me on an one-month trial of some anti-depressant, okay? I take it pretty regularly, and then return to report no noticeable results. And then... I never got around to following up on the ADD thing. Because I never did remember to. Hah.

Time to look for a local, trans-friendly doctor. I need to discuss with them transition health issues, as well, I'm sure. Right now, I can't really afford to do the fully legit route, but it'd be good to see what I can at least do to look after myself on this budget.

I have nice shiny boots. My roommate's dog thinks it's acceptable to attack the boots while I'm wearing them. It hasn't actually hurt me so far (they're pretty good protectively), but it's annoying and I doubt it's a good precept. But I'm not writing this to complain, but to ask how I can get her to stop. Do you folks have any advice on dog-safe repellents I can put on my boots or other methods of getting her to stop?

Just not wearing the boots isn't an acceptable solution (though I've had it suggested to me). I need footwear on at least sometimes to get some things achieved, and those boots're my only real footwear.

I didn't vote today. Went to try for a provisional ballot, but I pushed it late and forgot to get exact directions to the polling place. This sort of thing was why I didn't vote in 2000, too, didn't send in my absentee ballot in time (I was in college at the time).

Instead of voting, I walked around a little. And I sort of cracked, in a way that I hadn't done for quite some time.

Was wandering down 8th Avenue, out of my mind a little and knowing it. Had some interesting thoughts about "Why the hell am I here? What'm I to do in life?" Talked to myself and tried assuming the personalities of assorted characters to help me snap out of it. English was the one who helped the most and managed to nudge me back toward home while I was part way across the bridge to Pittsburgh. I like her. I know it's weird talking about my characters like this, but it's almost like a muse-relationship.

I entered a merry, almost maniac mood as I walked back and on the way did some needed shopping (groceries and such). Was very happy. Somewhere on the way, I got the idea to take a break from the Internet, indeed, the computer itself. I mean, I wake up with a mind to do a few things for the day but first check just a few things on the computer, and then it's nighttime. This is almost a spiritual thing, too, in a way, as spiritual as an atheist can get, anyway. Like a fast.

On this break, I could:

• Read the books on managing ADD I recently got
  
• Implement those organization strategies
  
• Possibly do some writing. Some of my most productive times've been on vacation away from the computer, and I do have a notebook.
  
• Do considerably more walking and exploration.
  
• And more.

Stuff like that. I'm thinking of one month at most. The issue here would be it disrupting the games I run, and I'm in another one just about to start. I think I need to do this, though, or something similar. I need so badly to shake myself up. I'm not going to start it right now, though. I'm going to prepare for it first, print out some reference materials I'll need for some of the stuff I'm thinking of doing, stuff like that.

Going to try provisional voting, since I didn't get to register.

Also, sometimes I wonder at the purpose of this journal. Essays? Dream postings? Mundane life updates? Bits of surrealness? Commentary, fiction-bits, and more. Those are all things I've done. Every now and then, I get an urge to devote this space to something. I always do the usual generalization instead.

Anyway, I changed my journal's theme and am working on my tags. I had too much tag-proliferation before, caused partially by lack of standardization--often I would use different names for the same subject out of an inability to remember what I'd used before! But I'm fixing that, and more of my posts'll probably have tags, making for easier related-subject searches.